Unspoken Words
by RogueRed
Summary: Takes place during the LATP trilogy, in parts we saw and didn't (like the recordings). J/A. Please Read and Review.


Disclaimer: I don't own Farscape, blah blah blah, I'm doing this for fun, yata yata yata (is anyone reading thing this?). I am a big shipper and you cannot sue me because I have no money. I'm doing this for the good of the people. Enjoy ;)  
  
Feedback: Yes, PLEASE! I love it when people tell me how they liked my fics. It makes me feel all warm inside and I end up writing more :)  
  
A/N: Special thanks to all my friends on the Ultimate who leave me nice feedback. If you think you might have read something very similar to this before, it's because I've combined some of my old fics and have put them together so it comes in a complete package. The old storied were titled "A Kiss Tells All" and "Goodbye...Forever?" I felt that it would make more sense for it all to be in one piece, so I edited it etc. Enjoy!  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
Aeryn was heading over to Zhann's apothecary. She had passed by Chiana a bit before, who seemed to be quite interested in what Aeryn was doing. Nosy tralk, she thought. Always trying to seduce John. At least she has D'Argo now to occupy her thoughts for a bit. We'll see how long it takes before she breaks his heart and goes back to the one person I care about, in terms of emotions. Since that's all that gets men's attention, I'm going to try some tricks of my own...  
  
Aeryn tapped her comm. "Zhann, do you mind if I come in? I was wondering if I could borrow some nice smelling oils..."  
  
"Of course, Aeryn. Come right in. I've been mixing some myself for my quarters and they smell divine."  
  
Aeryn stepped in to smell a sweet fragrance. A vague picture of a lake with fields of golden flowers blossomed in her mind. Zhann smiled and brought a bottle over to Aeryn. "See if you like this."  
  
Aeryn sniffed. It smelt very nice. Aeryn smiled at Zhann, who smiled back. "It's just what I need. Thank you."  
  
Aeryn started to turn to leave, when Zhann said suspiciously, "What are you going to do with that, Aeryn? I never knew Peacekeepers liked nice smelling things, especially you."  
  
"Oh, let's just say I'm pulling a Chiana" Aeryn said mischievously in spite of herself.  
  
They both looked at each other and laughed. "Well, I hope it's not something TOO Chiana."  
  
"Oh, no, it's mild" Aeryn assured her. "I've got to go. I am meeting Crichton in about half an arn."  
  
Zhann raised her eyebrows, or what would have been her eyebrows, smiled to herself and turned back to what she was doing. She seemed to have a knowing look in her eye.  
  
I wonder if she knows, Aeryn thought. Well, if she does, I know she will let us have some privacy. Not that she intrudes, but every single time we get somewhere somebody walks in on us.  
  
~*~  
  
After Aeryn had done her hair and straitened herself out, she headed over to John's module, where he was waiting. Moya's hulls glowed a little bit more, in a soft sense, as though she knew exactly what Aeryn was thinking. She saw him and he smiled at her. They got into Farscape 1. John sat snugly behind Aeryn, and Aeryn had her hand on his on the steering. How more perfect a setup could this be?  
  
Aeryn had been telling John about how to do some maneuvers she knew, when he said his module wasn't built for it. Just trying to make conversation?  
  
"Would you like-to learn how to do this, or are you continually going to display your ineptitude?" she said, as she tilted her head and grabbed his hand back onto the handle.  
  
"My ineptitude?" he said, frowning. "You mean my improvisation that bails your sorry-I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he said with a little laugh,"what is that smell?"  
  
"Wh-what?" Aeryn said, hopeful he meant what she hoped he meant.  
  
He was now nuzzling his face into her hair. "It's your hair it smells" he said softer.  
  
"Zhann gave me something" Aeryn said, her cheeks going into a more rosy tone.  
  
"Alright" he said, his face still in her hair. "Smells good. I like it."  
  
Aeryn couldn't hide her smile. Still, he couldn't see it. She turned around so their faces met. "Well, it's not for you to like."  
  
John raised his eyebrows but not in a confused way. "Oh. Then what's it for?"  
  
"For me to like" she said, amused.  
  
"And you don't like that-I like it?"  
  
Aeryn shook her head but she had a bit of a smile she couldn't hide. "Personal indulgences can fracture a small crew."  
  
"Then I would never tell them, that you scented your hair" he said in a whisper.  
  
How could he possibly answer better? Aeryn couldn't help it. Now was the perfect moment. She leaned her head closer to his (If that was even possible) and kissed him, slowly. He returned the kiss. They slowly pulled their heads away, then kissed like they had done in the Flax. Their arms were going around each other, and Aeryn couldn't have felt more content. Then, out of the blue, a thought occurred to her: the future. Sure, she had only recreated with him once, but if this kept up, sooner or later...  
  
"No!" Aeryn said firmly, breaking the passionate kiss.  
  
"Aeryn! Aeryn, no!" he said, just as firm, but taken off-guard.  
  
Aeryn was getting out of the cockpit now, swinging her hair in fury. "No, NO!" Aeryn was shouting as he was trying to get her back. "I will NOT be a slave to your hormones!" Hhhmmmmm, hormones? Well, it was the quickest thing she could come up with. And she had to get out of there asap, or she would be in deep dren.  
  
"My-my HORMONES?!" John shouted after her. Hormones? he thought. Now that was just not fair. "Hey, I was lips, you were tongue!"  
  
He slammed her to the wall to stop her, since that seemed to be the only logical idea.  
  
Aeryn was looking furiously at him back. She couldn't let her guard down again. How could she have been so stupid?  
  
"Why-did you sent your hair?" he asked accusingly.  
  
Well, no use in lying to him. He can see right through me when I do. "To see if you'd notice."  
  
John was even more shocked. "Standing at attention" he said, leaning harder on his hands in anger. How could she think that was the way to get my attention? I love her for who she is. It's as though she thought acting like Chiana would attract my-oh. Of course. But can't she see I love her for who she is? Chiana doesn't mean squat to me, at least not like that. She's my little sister who I have to watch over. I couldn't love her in the way that I love Aeryn. I love Aeryn...  
  
"I'll tell Zhann that you find her oils pleasing" Aeryn said, still angry.  
  
"It's YOU I find pleasing" John said firmly. And that was the truth. Yet it seemed near impossible that she'd ever see it.  
  
Sure, she thought. You've always seemed to prove otherwise... Aeryn sighed shortly in anger, gripped his arm that had half-surrounded her for support, swung herself under and stalked off.  
  
John still stood there, trying to contain everything in his mind, half furious with Aeryn, half furious with himself.  
  
Why the frell doesn't anything go right?  
  
~*~  
  
Frell, why does this have to happen to me? Why can't things be normal, or as normal as they usually are in the UTs? John thought as he sat in his room in the palace. Nothing had seemed to go right since his encounter with Aeryn. It was like a domino effect. If only Scorpius was out of the picture, things would've been a lot easier. I don't wanna get married. I love Aeryn. She just can't say she loves me because she's afraid that she might lose me. Well, she's losing me now, but I don't want to leave her. All because of some stupid compatibility-kissing tester, I am losing the only woman I love, who I ever have loved. I can't go through with this. I wish I could just change the past, fix things, and make sure I didn't act so stupid. Oh, you have messed up big time, buddy. You lost the one thing that kept you sane. The one thing that kept you smiling, and it's all gone. Way to go, you idiot. You might as well give up on everything. Well, I had better leave her a message since she's gone off with Dregon...he'd better keep his dirty hands off.  
  
John held back his pain and pressed the recording button.  
  
"Hey, Aeryn, it's me, John. Listen, since you are off somewhere else and something tells me you're not gonna come to the wedding, I'm leaving you this little message. Listen, I don't wanna go through with this, nor do I want you to. I don't want to lose you, whether you wanna hear this or not, I love you. I've never been so sure of anything else in my entire life."  
  
Will she listen to it from here? Well, it doesn't make any difference. I've messed up enough for one day to pass this up he thought as a salty tear fell from his eye. It fell to his lips. It tasted as bitter as how he felt just then.  
  
"Aeryn, be strong. I know that's what you do best. Take care of yourself. Well, you don't need to be told that. Aeryn, I would've run off with you...I wish you could just stop hiding your feelings. Had it just been you and me together, I would have gone. You have no idea how much pain I'm in. But God, I'm scared of Scorpy, Aeryn. You have to know that. I still have nightmares about the Aroura Chair. But there was only one thing that kept me going when I was in that torture chamber. You. You kept me strong. I don't wanna go through with this, and I wish I could change what is going on, but I can't. I wish it would all go away. I mean, all because of some stupid, foolish kiss. Aeryn, I'm sorry I made you jealous. It's one of those things you do when you want someone to come back to you. Woah. Did I just say that? Heh, well, I guess you needed to hear that. Had I not been so big-headed…this might never have happened. If I could change the past, I'd fix this in an instant. I love you Aeryn, and I'm missing you already. Goodbye, Sunshine."  
  
John clicked off the recorder and burst into tears.  
  
"Why ME? I can't stand this!" he shouted, banging his hand against the wall so hard that it bled.  
  
John grabbed a present he had received from Dargo for his wedding and chucked it across the room, and it hit with a loud bang. His eyes were red and puffy. He had never felt so upset, useless, and angry in his life. Everything bad always seemed to happen to him. But why? It wasn't fair.  
  
John cried for arns, wallowing in his misery.  
  
~*~  
  
John got back up to Moya after the entire thing that had happened on the Royal Planet. It was over, thank God! But he now had a child that he'd never live to see, so he had left part of his life behind him now. He was exhausted, but more then anything he was glad that it was over. John suddenly realized something…the recording!  
  
"Hey, Chi!" John called, running over to her.  
  
Chiana turned around.  
  
"What is it?" she asked, slightly jumping at his urgency. The last thing she wanted was another problem. Ever since that Scarren had caught her, she had been a little on the uneasy side.  
  
"Do you still have those recordings?" he said, looking worried.  
  
"Oh, yeah, I do. Nobody has heard them yet."  
  
"Can I have them back?"  
  
Chiana furrowed her brow.  
  
"Why?"  
  
John was exasperated.  
  
"Chi, please don't give me any aggravation, I'm tiered. Can I just have them please?"  
  
"Alright" she said, pulling them out of her pocket and handing it to him.  
  
"Thanks" he muttered, running off with them.  
  
Chiana rolled her eyes and continued down one of Moya's tiers.  
  
~*~  
  
He had kissed me in his module, and I pushed him away. He tried to talk to me, and again I pushed him away. So he goes and kisses other women, ending up kissing and princess and being forced to marry her. I told him to run away, and he asked if it would be with me. And I was afraid, and I said 'All of us.' Then he gave up and I left to go with that idiot who kept trying to come onto me. I end up falling off the side of a cliff because he lied to me and pulled me down with him. I broke my leg and got cut all over. For his sake, I hope he finds someone else to bother. Thank goodness it's all over. Well, technically it's not. Do I say anything? It's not like I should be the one to say something...after all, he was the one who started this whole mess, right? But frell, I wish he'd say something! I'll just keep exercising until-  
  
"I was-worried when you didn't show up for the wedding" he said, trying to get my attention again.  
  
Don't do or say anything.  
  
"Anyway, I'm just glad your ok...and I have noticed that you're not talking to me" he said, sounding agitated.  
  
Well, it's now or never. She picked up the little bottle of liquid beside her, and stood for a moment from a distance with it in her hand. John looked back at her, without giving any objection. But what if they weren't compatible? Then everything was frelled for good. She started walking towards him slowly, and neither or them said a thing. But silence is golden.  
  
When she got up to him and his module, he looked at her and slowly took the bottle out of her hand. He put some of the stuff on his tongue and then tentatively put some on hers, after she looked at him nervously, wondering what she had gotten herself into.  
  
Then he put the bottle back down and leaned in closer to her. Aeryn hesitated. Then she raised her head and their tongues touched quickly. Then they kissed, for a really long time, as though it might be the last time they'd ever kiss. They were stalling in fear, fear that they could never be together. Then Aeryn broke the kiss abruptly. John sorta sank back into his module, looking at her and tilting his head. She couldn't let him see how she'd react.  
  
She turned around, and she smiled. Probably the biggest she'd smiled ever in her life. She walked away, and somehow, she could feel that he was smiling behind her, too.  
  
John rubbed his hand against his lips, smiling as though he'd never done it in all his life, and his eyes had something in them that had never been before-a new light. Something that had truly dawned on him, inside his head, his heart and everywhere else.  
  
True love.  
  
~*~  
  
She still had the biggest smile plastered on her face as she walked through Moya's tiers in sheer bliss. She had never felt this happy before. She felt a little dazed as she winded back over to her quarters, passing Chiana, who did a double take at her.  
  
"Er, Aeryn…are you feeling okay?" Chiana asked tentatively.  
  
"Never better" Aeryn said, walking past slowly.  
  
Chiana smiled to herself knowingly, and headed off to find D'Argo.  
  
Aeryn finally got back to her quarters and felt right at home again. She took a couple of steps inside and found a recording piece on her bed. She sat down and picked it up. She turned it on for it to play.  
  
"Hey, Aeryn, it's me, John."  
  
Aeryn's smile widened.  
  
"You are probably still pretty mad at me, so if I don't get to talk to you before, I'm really sorry about everything. You are…very important to me. I would never want to hurt you. So I hope you forgive me. I hope your leg feels better, and I'll talk to you later."  
  
Aeryn smiled.  
  
"I love you too, John."  
  
  
  
FIN  
  
Please Review! 


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